Thanksgiving giving Thanks

We're on our way to Seattle tomorrow to do the family thing. Back on Friday, then I'm part of a Nia Jam for canned foods on Saturday.

We purchased a Windows 7 computer.

It's been a bit of a hassle to use it.

Where's my MUSIC???

Patience Patience Patience.

Gratitude Gratitude Gratitude.

How strong can I be?

Once again, my husband is in bed with another gout attack. I realize I am angry at his son, who lives in Portland and doesn't have a 9-5 job. He's a musician. He could come over and help me. The last time Steve had a gout attack and I called Jeremy and told him I was feeling overwhelmed and frightened, Jeremy told me I should be more compassionate. He didn't offer to come over and help out. He called the next day to see how his father was doing. He also apologized for being unsympathetic to me. That was the end of his support.

Steve said, "Does it give you peace of mind to be angry with Jeremy?"

Change what I can
Accept what I cannot change
And give me the wisdom to know the difference.

I'm putting together the routine I'll be doing for cable TV next Wednesday.

The best way to use my energy is to do what needs to be done and let go of the desire to have things be different than what they are.

GGRRRRR@#$%$#&*###

Dream

I dreamt that Jill C. and I went in her car to Carlos and Annie's wedding. The deal was that if someone was in the first 10 cars to arrive, they could attend. We met that criteria. Jill and I and another woman (don't know who) sat in seats in the ballroom where the ceremony was to be held. Annie walked alone to the designated area. I don't remember what she was wearing, but I think it was something simple. Then Carlos came in. His hair was gray. He wore a PLAID suit jacket..looked really odd. He walked around Annie eight times. I thought that was a little odd also. In the Orthodox Jewish religion, the bride walks around the groom eight times.

That's all I remember of that dream. I dreamt it a few nights ago and didn't write down the details.

Back from San Diego

Five days. Did some of the things we planned. I didn't get in touch with any Nia teachers - on purpose. This trip was specifically for Steve's 72nd birthday. We rented a sailboat and he demonstrated that he is, indeed, a sailor. He's so at HOME sailing. I, on the other hand. . . oh well, I was a good sport about handling the jib. All in all, it was an excellent trip. I did "deliberation" (see kelmanworks.com) a lot and it really enhanced my experience. Mindfulness is a good synonym for "deliberation" if you don't want to look it up on the website.

Went to class (KelmanWorks) last night. It was the last in a series. Another layer of my way of being removed itself during the first exercise. Instead of reaching for results, I allowed the moves to reveal themselves. I'm doing this more and more in my teaching and my life.

I realize, once again, that I have a lot to unlearn in order to reveal my authentic self to myself. Somewhere under all the technique, skills and ego is the brilliant light of the child who knows what she doesn't know. More and more I am trusting that child. I call her my Higher Self.

Each morning lately, I make a conscious choice to simply be happy no matter what. If my happiness depends on what's in the bank, on my back, on the dinner table, who my friends and family are, where I live, the weather, the car I drive, what I see in the mirror, the books on our bookshelves - well, I could say I'm generally happy BUT if my happiness depends on none of those things and/or circumstances - well, I can be ECSTATIC, in BLISS.

Flying free.